An Anniversay of Sorts

It's just about a year ago that Wendy and I trepidatiously got off the elevator on the ninth floor at St. Joseph's Hospital and were introduced to the world of cancer. We both knew what news was coming, but reality had yet to sink in (for me at least). The stunning speed with which appointments were made, tests were conducted and decision were arrived at, both impressed and depressed me. I was impressed because all the horror stories of waiting m0nths for care were brushed aside. And it depressed me because it emphasized the severity of Wendy's cancer.

So, we've made it this far. It's been a long year with many ups and downs. Another Christmas to celebrate. This year with many friends (nine for dinner on Thursday), lots of food, and a damned fine reason to celebrate. As much as having Cancer sets you apart, people have reached out in so many ways that it has given me pause to stop and think more than once.

We know Wendy's journey is not over and for that I am grateful. For every tear I've shed this past year there's been a smile, a belly laugh, a moment to cherish, a memory worth keeping.

Thanks to you all for your support this year.

Harvey

Night of the Giant Lobsters

One day, right out of the blue, Wendy announced that she felt like a feast of lobster. Now, even for people living close to the source of lobsters, they are still an expensive proposition, but ever encouraging of Wendy getting back up to "fighting weight" I told her it was a good idea. One phone call later she lined up a couple of dinner companions and then headed out to Misty Harbour Seafood. I was unable to attend because I was awaiting the arrival of some people to remove the oil tank from the garage as the last act in the saga of switching from oil to gas.

Wendy returned with the largest damned crustaceans I have ever seen. Apparently, the downturn in the economy has curtailed expensive business lunches and dinners and the price of lobster has fallen dramatically. Even the lobster fishermen were angry at the prices, to the point where they had a one day work stoppage to protest the $3.50 a pound they were receiving. Misty Harbour had a sale on late Saturday and Wendy bought two 5 lb lobsters at $6 a pound.

Even using the largest pot we owned, we could only cook one at a time. Feeling slightly guilty for the poor Lobster fishermen, I cooked the monsters. Since they were going to be supper on Sunday, I slightly undercooked them, cooled them down and put them in the basement fridge.

On Sunday I heated the lobsters in boiling water for five minutes and served half a tail and one claw to each diner. To be truthful, one of the giant claws would have served as a meal, but lobster is meant to be enjoyed. Especially with some lemon butter. To balance the meal we served steamed carrots and potatoes on a side plate. It was wonderfully messy with lots of laughing and sounds of blissful consumption.

My thanks to Jack Hill for the lovely photo. Yum!!

Harvey

Seasonal Smells

One of the December scents at our house is the delicious, sinus clearing smell of fresh curry powder. When empty jars began to arrive, complete with little notes saying "Feed Me!", Harvey knew it was time to make another batch of his Lucky Elephant brand curry powder.

Although my preference might be to have the house smell like chocolate all the time, it wouldn't be as special that way. That rich smell does permeate the place at this time of year, when Harvey, in Christmas elf mode, creates a batch of his chocolates. He normally makes 6 to 8 different kinds, using the best quality available of white, milk and dark chocolate. Some, like his version of FerroRocher, recur every year, but there's always at least one new type. Last year's Cod Cheeks are being repeated, while the new entry for 2008 uses vanilla beans from Mexico, thanks to his sister Beth.

No problem remembering to take deep breaths here this time of year!

Wendy

Retreat at Villa Madonna

Participants in the recent retreat for women living with breast cancer, which drew almost 60 women from across the province. It was a great experience.

Photo by Shasta Merlini, Fredericton

Left Arm Liberation

Water consumption in Saint John probably spiked yesterday morning, when I had the first shower after removal of my PIC line. No more having to wrap my arm in saran covered by pantyhose - although I have to say that does pretty much work.

When I discovered that the bone strengthener I'm getting every 4 weeks can be given intravenuosly (it doesn't damage the veins the way chemo drugs can), I asked my doctor if it could come out, and she agreed. So that saves our health care system the weekly expense of getting it cleaned and dressing changed.

Also had a helpful consultation with a physiotherapist, who says I have good post-surgery range of motion in my arm and shoulder, but has given me a few specific exercises to help get the last bit back. She also confirmed the kind of adjustments I've been making in order to do yoga while protecting my neck.

Wendy

Too Much Squash

While joining the CSA was an excellent idea, we are occasionally inundated with vegetables. In the past couple of months squash has appeared (sometimes 2 of them) very regularly. Here's a couple of good ways to dispose of squash.

Squash Soup

1 squash cut into cubes
1 onion diced (cisler in French)
1 heaping teaspoon Lucky Elephant Brand Curry powder or ground cumin (if you use cumin add 1/2 teaspoon of black pepper).
1/4 cup white wine
butter
1 liter chicken stock

sautee onion in butter till soft, add spice and stir till fragrant.
Add wine and reduce.
Add squash and stock and simmer till the squash is soft.
Blend till smooth and creamy.
Add more stock, milk or cream to achieve the consistency you like. There's plenty of soup for four people as a meal with salad, bread, crachers and cheese, or six to eight as an appetizer.

Squash Tarts
1 package 2 or 3 inch frozen tart shells (or make your own)
one squash, diced
one medium onion, diced finely (cisler)
2 or 3 strips of bacon, diced
teaspoon dried thyme or oregano
1.5 cups tomato juice (Or a cup of tomato sauce)

Blind bake the tart shells.

Saute the bacon bits until they are nearly cooked and have given up their fat.
Add the onions and cook till soft in the bacon fat.
Sprinkle in the thyme and stir till fragrant.
Add the squash and tomato juice and cook till the squash is soft and the tomato juice has reduced. If the juice reduces before the squash is cooked, add a small amount of white wine.

Cool the Tart shells and squash.

Heat the oven to 375. Fill the cooled tart shells with the cooled squash mixture and put in the oven for 15-20 minutes or until heated through.

Serve as an appetizer or as one of the vegetable courses. There is easily enough filling for a dozen generous tarts.

Harvey

Feline Foundlings

My father Herb shared Mark Twain's affection for companion animals of the feline persuasion. As Twain said "A home without a cat -- and a well-fed, well-patted and properly revered cat -- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?"

Sister Joyce, who shares her home with three inherited cats, forwarded the newspaper ad below, written by Herb. She recalls that Silver Shadow had a new home the day after the paper appeared, and plans to plagiarize the next time she has to find a home for a stray.

FREE!
"Silver Shadow"
a short-haired kitten of some sophistication who has fully recovered from her operation (which she does not wish to talk about) plus all the needles known to the ingenious veterinary fraternity; and now wishes to get on with her life. She is not above chasing a styrofoam ball down a spiral stairway or playing 'footsy' with a swinging C-cup. She enjoys quiet times by the fireplace or long rambles in mouse country; and has been described as "warm, affectionate and a-political". This side of omnivorous, she favours Hewitt's 2 % and the celebrated Purina mix commonly called "Meouw"...but is open to further suggestions.
She seeks a secure position with an upper-class family who claim their own tartan or an international equivalent. All expenses have been paid by a reluctant local philanthropist.
For A Consulation,
Please Phone

Wendy
AKA Staff of Ginger and Simba

The Journey Continuing

Dr. Burnell, my oncologist, sees no problem with me returning to work as long as I'm feeling well. (Yes, my surrogate mothers, I will listen to my body!) So, after discussion with Director Jane and Blue Cross, I'm back part-time. We've tried to define an appropriate role on a pt basis, not going back to my old (more than) ft job in fewer hours.

Although my treatment has been aggressive and the response good, because mine is a cancer which had already spread beyond the lymph nodes at the time of diagnosis (Stage IV), the prognosis is that it will be life-threatening at some point - unless I'm one of those miraculous anomalies. Typically where it recurs is lungs, liver or bones, although when that happens it's still breast cancer. Chemo or radiation may be treatment options. It is estrogen-receptor negative (the test that was misdiagnosed in Newfoundland) so things like tamoxifen won't be effective.

Because the initial recurrence was in bone, I'm continuing to receive a bone strengthening medication every four weeks. I'm convinced that diet, staying active, strong support systems and a fighting spirit are also important in this journey.

Wendy

Belated October Updates

Jim and Anna visited from Alberta for a few days - we did a little tour guiding in Saint John, fed them chowder, scallops and lobster, the latter to help celebrate Harvey's birthday. They can provide a review of the quality of our guest accommodation and services.

In lieu of a fall Okanagan trip, we went to Nova Scotia for a few days to visit wineries and stock up. One of the highlights was staying overnight at the Train Station Inn in Tatamagouche, near Jost Winery. A caboose was our bedroom, with dinner in a dining car and breakfast in the train station waiting room.

Last week I got my fake boob (formally known as a prosthesis) and a special (specially expensive) masectomy bra with a clever pocket for it. In response to my query, Harvey confirms that the bra looks like something one's grandmother would have worn, so I'm going to try to retrofit some of my old ones. I probably won't wear the f.b. all the time, but it does help to feel less asymmetrical and make clothes work better. (Sorry if this is too much information, but a not-statistically valid poll of readers said this should be included.)

On the subject of clothes, although I have gained some weight back, when the weather turned cool I discovered that none of my wool pants fit. I've learned that for me wearing clothes that don't fit is rather depressing, so I'm visiting Frenchy's in search of size 6 wool pants. (Realize that weight loss is an odd thing to complain about, but my doctor says it all depends how it happens.)

Wendy

Out and About

Caption indicates that Councillor Gary Sullivan (front left) is listening, but that does not appear to be the case with Councillor Carl Killen (back left). This was one of a series of meetings for City Councillors to hear the concerns of people in their wards.

Alternate fashion mag caption:
Dressed for community activism, cotton fleece pullover from Sally A, hat from Mark's WWh, courtesy of Joyce

Wendy

Poetry Selections

Turn Your World Red

Cardinal calls me from the
railing of the deck. "Turn
your world red," he says,
insistent, beckoning. "Risk
life outside your hard-earned
walls and windows. Cast
aside caution, propriety,
and your too small sense
of what you can and cannot
do. Fly! I tell you that the
sky knows no constraints.
All you are or can be comes
clear in the near approach of
clouds. Fly! That which you
fear the most holds your
deepest teaching. Let your
spirit be the bridge between
safety and release. Soar to
the far end of what is known
from dawn to twilight, then
throw yourself at the whim
of the wild night winds.
Turn your world red, and
live with no regrets. Fly!
And if you are blown off
course, just change your
destination. Choose to
land wherever your two
feet are standing.

Danna Faulds, courtesy of Debra

And from Glynis
Beannacht (Gaelic for blessing) read by its author, John O'Donohue
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfvS2LYbZLQ

Wendy

Reading Recommendation

From my recent reading, I'm highly recommending a delightful little novel called The Uncommon Reader. The author, Alan Bennett, is British and known primarily as a playwright. A previous novel, The Clothes on Their Backs, had an intriguing premise - a middle aged, upper middle class couple living in London return from an evening at the theatre to find their apartment totally cleared out. The book, about what ensues, I thought didn't do justice to the premise. This one has a brilliant premise which is brilliantly executed.

The uncommon reader is the Queen, who as she approaches her 80th birthday, discovers a bookmobile which makes weekly visits to the palace grounds, and becomes an enthusiast reader. What happens from there is a testament to the pleasures and power of reading. I didn't want it to end!

Wendy

Thanksgiving Gathering

We picked up our fresh 12 lb turkey on Saturday at City Market and cooked it Monday. Suzanne made a pumpkin AND an apple pie for dessert, using Jack's mother's no-fail pastry recipe, which certainly lived up to its name. We served it with maple walnut ice cream and sauce made with the rose hips I picked last week. We started with curried carrot and parsnip soup, with a squash, onion and bacon tart. The very moist turkey was accompanied by mashed potatoes, maple glazed carrots, stuffing and a rich gravy made with stock from 4 partridge carcasses, courtesy of an earlier dinner at Jack and Suzanne's.

Harvey's aunt Max and cousin Michelle arrived mid-afternoon, in time for dinner, and stayed with us for 2 nights. We did some city touring, served scallops for dinner the second night and made a trip to Frenchy's. I enjoyed a reflexology treatment from Michelle before watching election results. They dropped me off at the hospital this morning, planning to visit the Museum before starting their journey back to Ontario.

Leftover turkey for dinner tonight - perhaps the real reason for cooking turkey!

Wendy

Probably No Radiation

Saw the radiation oncologist yesterday. Although he's going to consult with my other docs, because the surgery achieved clear margins, he doesn't feel that radiation to the breast area is necessary.
The last xray shows that the radiation to the neck I had before worked; he said it looks much better. He's ordering another bone scan to check to see if any other bone involvement has appeared. And I'll continue to get aredia every 4 weeks; which strengthens the bones and helps kill cancer cells in them.
I've gained a few pounds back, part of which is my regrowing hair. Harvey is pleased with that - although hopeful that I will keep my hair quite short.
Picked rosehips today and we've ordered a fresh turkey to be picked up at the Market tomorrow and cooked on Monday. Some of Harvey's relatives are headed our way and may arrive by then. And the weather forecast is for sun!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Wendy

Update

We've survived Hurricane Kyle - rain is coming to an end and winds weren't as high as predicted. It did motivate us to get the lawn furniture off the deck, which it was time to do anyway. And the cruise ship scheduled to come in today is going to Bar Harbour instead.

My appointment with the radiation oncologist was rescheduled until next week. Shingles rash is healing well, although it is still rather painful, especially at night.

Picked a few blackberries, but they are done now. Rose hips still to pick, once we've had a good frost.

Wendy

Sister Visit

We made sure that my sister Joyce's recent visit included sightings of various New Brunswick icons, including:
Covered bridge
Lighthouse
Fishing boats and lobster traps
Caves at St Martins
Fundy Trail Parkway
Reversing Falls (and the paper mill) at several stages
Ferries - across the Kennebecasis and St. John rivers
Fog
Frenchy's
Uptown Saint John, including City Market
Rockwood Park walks

It also included a variety of New Brunswick tastes:
Fish and chips at St Martins
Wild blueberries in muffins and pancakes with maple syrup, on their own
Harvey's cranberry theme dinner, with ratatouille, salmon, a blueberry experiment for dessert accompanied by cranberry sorbet
Fresh Digby scallops
Stir fry with vegetables from the Kingston Peninsula

She was forced to play Cranium and listen to political discussions.

The visit did not include:
Perfect September weather
A cruise ship in the Harbour as scheduled (unable to come in because of winds)

The sun did come out a couple of times and, since previous visits featured snowstorms, ice and rain, this was the best weather she's experienced in Saint John. New plan is that next time we badly need precipitation, we'll get her here for a visit!

Wendy

Another Learning Opportunity

My only post-surgery complication (knock on wood) has been an outbreak of shingles, an ugly skin rash extending from the middle of my back around the right side of my upper body. It was intensely itchy for a couple of days, but a prescription and good old calomine lotion did help. It stopped spreading and is starting to heal up.

I've learned that shingles is caused by the same virus as chickenpox. If you had that as a child, as I did, the virus stays in your body and can recur as shingles, usually not til you're over 50. They think it can be triggered by things like a weakened immune system, cancer treatments, stress or physical trauma (surgery!?) An old name for it was devil's whip, because of the way the rash curves around the body. The rash normally clears up in a few weeks, but in some cases becomes something more long lasting. Hopefully I'll avoid that part of the experience.

Wendy

Blueberries - The Sequel

Wild blueberry picking has finally come to an end here. Also picked a few rock cranberries in the same areas, and Harvey is experimenting with some recipes using them. Here's another blueberry one we like.

Lemon Blueberry Loaf

1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1/3 cup yogurt
2 cups flour plus 2 Tbsp
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 Tbsp vanilla
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cinnamon
juice from half a lemon
lemon zest from half a lemon
1 1/2 cups blueberries

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and cream again.
Add yogurt, lemon zest and lemon juice. Mix well.
Add everything except the blueberries and 2 Tbsp of flour. Mix well.
Coat blueberries with flour and gently fold into the batter.
Place in greased loaf pan and bake at 350 F for 1 hour or until tester comes out clean.

Adapted from Flavours of New Brunswick by Karen Powell

Post-Surgery Update

Last week had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon. Healing is progressing well, with some fluid still to drain. 8 lymph nodes were removed and 5 were cancerous. The margins are clear and the tumor was Grade III.

Also had an appointment with the oncologist - the xray of my neck she ordered after my last visit as a follow-up to bone scan showed no abnormalities but some thinning of bones. She wants me to avoid hyperextension of the neck and to wear the hard collar for protection where there is a possibility of sudden movements, like in the car. (Bungee jumping and using pogo stick would be out too!) I'm also continuing to get a drug which helps strengthen bones, every 4 weeks through my pic line.

The physiotherapist paid me another visit. She thought I was making good progress with rcovering shoulder motion - I think flexibility from yoga helps. We reviewed one of my yoga books and she helped me figure out poses I should avoid in order to protect my neck.

I have an appointment with the radiation oncologist in 2 weeks: typically its 5 to 6 weeks of radiation treatments to the breast, to help kill off any stray cancer cells there.

My sister Joyce is coming for a visit later this week - we are hoping that she will finally experience some good weather in Saint John, which was absent her 2 previous visits.

Wendy

Another Blueberry Recipe

We did a "blueberries in every course" dinner the other night, with this used on the salad. It's a beautiful colour with the greens.

Blueberry Vinegar
You make this first, as an ingredient for the vinaigrette.
1 c blueberries
3/4 c white wine vinegar
2 Tbsp sugar
small bay leaf

Combine the ingredients and bring to a boil. Mash berries, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
Let stand for 4 hours, strain and chill.

Blueberry Vinaigrette
9 Tbsp blueberry vinegar
3 tsp honey
3 tsp Dijon mustard
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
5 Tbsp olive oil

Combine vinegar, honey, mustard, salt and pepper. Add oil gradually, stirring with a whisk.

Grand Manan Trip

We decided we should visit Grand Manan Island before the end of the season this year and didn't want to be there on a holiday weekend. We figured to go on Thursday and return Friday and miss the busy Labour Day weekend. It turned out to be a good decision as we had excellent weather on Thursday, probably the best of the whole weekend.

We left early on Thursday because we had to do some picnic shopping (no prepared meats) before leaving. We had planned to arrive at the ferry terminal at Black's Harbour early enought to get a good spot for the 11:30 ferry. We arrived at the empty parking lot at 9:22 and the traffic monitor motioned us forward. We were the last to get on the Ferry in the last spot which was just big enough for our small vehicle. When they closed the ramp there was less than a hand width between our bumper and the ramp. Close.

We spent the trip over on the aft deck. It was bright and sunny. Lots of sea birds - puffins, cormorants, gannets, gulls - and, much to everyone's delight, a humpback whale surfaced right beside the ship. Wow. Another $100 whale watching tour for free.

Upon arrival we snagged a tourist map and drove to the north end of the island for lunch. There's a look-out there (The Whistle) and while we had our lunch, we saw four (some say it was six) porpoises and at least one seal. Comet made friends with a Forester from Washington State. Power for the Island comes via an underwater cable that comes ahore here. I was hoping that someone on the island had put in a windmill, but none were in evidence.

There aren't many roads on Grand Manan and nearly all the settlement is on the esatern shore because the western shore is almost totally sheer cliffs. One spot on the west side where there is a natural harbour is called Dark Harbour. There is a kelp growing operation there. On the road into Dark Harbour there is a cliff made up of columnar basalt. I haven't seen it for real before.

We continued along the road to Southwest Head. There's a light there along with a number of antennae protected by fences and warning signs. The main vegetation was shrubby birches, junipers, and Cinqefoil. The land ends abruptly here with sheer black cliffs of volcanic rock.

Before heading to our accommodations we stopped at The Anchorage Provincial Park. There is a series of ponds behind a barrachois, with picnic sites and trails all along the ponds. We stopped for a while so I could read the newspaper while Wendy picked some raspberries.

Wendy made reservations at a quirky place (Castalia Marsh Retreat) with a group of cabins, each with a theme. We stayed in a Yurt. Wendy said it had all the nice things about a tent along with all the nice things about not sleeping in a tent. (A yurt is a tent used by Mongolian herdsmen. If you're reading this on line, Google Yurt.) It had a fridge and a stove, a composting toilet and a shower with hot water. It rained Thrusday night and it was pleasant to listen to the rain inside a nice dry, cosy bed.

In the morning we went to Red Point where Wendy and Comet walked a trail while I did some birdwatching. We were looking for a geological feature where volcanic and metamorphic rocks meet. That remains for another trip. There is a magnificent bakery on the island, conveniently located just before you get to the ferry (or just as you arrive on the island) and we picked up some excellent bread before leaving.

Wendy had wisely made a reservation fr the ferry and we were among the first three cars on. We were directed to the upper deck (first on, last off). The trip back to Black's Harbour was cool and wet so we stayed indoors and played Quiddler and read. To get off the ship we had to wait until the lower decks were cleared and then our deck tilted down. Quite an exciting ride!

I have a feeling we're not done with Grand Manan and we'll be going back some day to finish our explorations.

Harvey

Sister Act

My sister Joyce's nelwy renovated and landscaped house on the Grand River, where we - and several generations of Martindales -grew up.

Sisters Joyce and Diane with me on the front porch, taken by Harvey's sister Beth, during my July visit.

Shoulder Motion

Had a visit from a physiotherapist this morning, to check on how I'm doing with the exercises to recover the range of motion in my shoulder. She thought it was coming along quite well - probably flexibility from doing yoga helps. She cautioned that it can take up to 3 months for full healing; even after that it's important to avoid trauma to that arm, which can lead to something called lymphedema (persistent swelling of arm) because of the impact on the lymph system.

The nurse will come tomorrow - probably the last visit, with all the dressing removed. Since the drain was taken out on Friday, the dressing has been less bulky and covered so that I can take showers. Hooray!

Wendy

Vegetables, Vegetables, Vegetables

Getting vegetables delivered every week really sounds like a grand idea in January. Trying to use up all these vegetables in creative and interesting ways can be a daunting task. After a couple of times, boiled beets loses its spark. On the other hand, I've taken to scouring the net for interesting recipes for all these veggies. Here's one we tried last week.

Beet and Goat Cheese salad.

500 grams Beets
140 grams goat cheese (Feta would also work with this recipe.)
extra virgin olive oil
balsami vinegar
small bunch of parsley, chopped
sald and pepper

1. trim stem and root ends of beets, oil, and wrap in tin foil. Bake in 4000F oven for about one hour or until easily pierced with a knife.
2. cool beets, peel and cut into wedges.
3. Place beet wedges in a bowl and drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar to taste.
4. Crumble cheese into bowl.
5. garnish with parsley salt and pepper to taste, toss and serve. Put a little balsamic vinegar on the table.

Harvey

Progress Continues

Still doing first set of arm and shoulder exercises, adjusting to left side sleeping, getting out for walks with Comet, and enjoying fresh fruits and vegetables. Harvey did a lovely beet and goat cheese salad which maybe he'll post.

On Sunday evening we enjoyed a great fireworks display courtesy of the Port Authority, as part of a conference they were hosting. We discovered with the Canada Day fireworks (which finally went ahead the first evening of clear sky on the 4th!) that our deck is a great viewing spot. We miss low ones, but everything else is visible framed by trees, which is a nice effect, as are the echoes from the hills.

Wendy

Post-Surgery Update

The Extra Mural nurse came to the house this morning to change my dressing and check the drain, which will stay in for week or so. They'll come most days until it can be taken out; she thought everything looked fine.

Last week I went to an information session with a physiotherapist, who went over the exercises to be done, starting today, to make sure you get the full range of motion back in the shoulder. Today I'm finding that my shoulders have a tendency to curl in and up to my ears, so I have to keep putting them back in place.

Slept better last night than I would have expected, considering that I have to switch from my habitual right side sleeping. And feel better today than I would have expected, which is good too!
Thanks to the NB Museum staff for the lovely flowers which were just delivered.

Wendy

From the Waiting room.

Wow! What a long day it has been. Wendy is home now, sore, tired, and happy to be in her own bed.

We started the day with our visit to the Chaos that is Day Surgery. I'm sure the staff there have everything under control, but to the novice the place seems out of control. Amazingly, Wendy was processed, gowned and in a bed fairly quickly. She was wheeled offf to surgery by a pleasant porter who made us laugh. Wendy left me in the surgical waiting area at 11:45. The surgery was a "Modified Radical Mastectomy". Around 2:00 pm Dr. Scarth, Wendy's surgeon, came to me with a big grin on his face. He explained the surgery had gone well, "as expected" he said, and was pleased with Wendy's progress. Around 4:00 pm Wendy emerged from Recovery and was wheeled up to 3DSouth, for observation. She was awake but not quite 'with it".

We discovered that there were three conditions that would speed her release from the hospital.
1. No nausea.
2. Able to eat something and keep it down.
3. Able to pee.

The nurse said this as the meals were coming around and I mentioned that serving one of those meals would delay her recovery by hours, if not days. They did get her some dry toast and a glass of cranberry juice which went down fairly easily. But the'peeing on demand' requirement took some time. Then we got caught in the shift change and we didn't get out until nearly 9:30 pm. We stopped at the drugstore to get some meds and Wendy is safely in bed now

I never reckoned that a day doing nothing but waiting around, sitting on my backside could be so damned exhausting. There is, thankfully, a Tim Horton's in the Hospital, so a decent cup of coffee eased my unease. I'm sure I will update this tomorrow, but it's late now.

To recap: Wendy is home, sore but happy. The operation waa a success, according to the Surgeon. Another big step in the journey has been successfully taken.

Harvey

Agile Dogs

We headed out to Sussex, the Dairy Town, on Saturday with friends Lynn and Dale to check out the National Agility Championships, being held for the first time in the Maritimes. The dogs were taking a break when we arrived, so we checked on the merchandise on display in various little tents. My favourite was a fridge magnet that declared "In this kitchen, dog hair is a condiment" but there was an unimaginable variety of doggie items available.

There were 6 rings in action and dogs compete in various size ranges. We watched Steeplechase with dogs from 16 to 22 inches high - the dogs have to go through a series of jumps and tunnels in the correct order, with no physical contact with the handler. Scoring is based on a combination of speed and successfully completing all of the elements. It was the second day of the competition so most of the dogs were really good and it was interesting to watch the various approaches and signals the handlers use. Then we watched an event for senior dogs, with a course that includes jumps, tunnels, teeter totter, wooden ramp and various other elements. Points are scored for the number and complexity of these completed in a given time. The third event we saw was the agility championships for larger dogs.

There were, of course, lots of border collies and shelties competing, but lots of other breeds as well, including some we couldn't quite figure out, because the dogs don't have to be purebreds to compete in agility.

After we'd had our fill of exuberant, well trained dogs (and concluded that while our dogs could do this, we weren't quite obsessive enough), it was time for lunch. The possibilities on the grounds were limited to burgers and fries type offerings, so we headed to downtown Sussex to see what we could find. We lucked out, with a delicious lunch in the shady backyard courtyard at the Broadway Cafe, which has been included in Where to Eat in Canada. Sussex has also commissioned a growing series of murals on downtown buildings and has lots of attractive older houses.

A short side trip out into the countryside to see the farm where Dale spent summers as a boy, and a shopping stop at Frenchy's completed our expedition. We had the odd experience of driving back into Saint John into the sunshine; it's much more typical to come out of the sun in the valley into a bank of fog as you approach our fair city.

Wendy

Wild Blueberries

We're enjoying an early and plentiful crop of blueberries. I've been baking with as well as freezing the results of my obsessive picking. So far, Harvey has been quite tolerant of me using his kitchen!

Wild Blueberry Oat Muffins

1 c oats
1 cup buttermilk (or milk with vinegar added)
1 c all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
3/4 c lightly packed brown sugar
1 egg, beaten
1/4 c melted butter, margarine or oil
1 c blueberries

Combine oats and buttermilk in small bowl. Let stand. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and brown sugar. Stir well to blend. Add egg and melted butter to oat mixture. Mix well. Add oat mixture all at once to dry ingredients. Stir just until all ingredients are moistened. Gently fold in blueberries. Fill well-greased muffin tin. Bake at 400 degrees F for 15-20 minutes.
Makes 12 muffins

Wendy

Huh, what's a coulis?

A coulis is a smooth, intensely flavoured sauce, usually made from berries; prepared berries are passed through a sieve in order to remove the pesky seeds while attempting to push the juice and pulp through. Here's a basic recipe.

Fresh Raspberry Coulis

2 pints raspberries, fresh or frozen
1/2 cup (125 mL) sugar (or to taste depending on sweetness of fruit)
2 tbsp (25 mL) lemon juice
1 tsp grated lemon rind
2 tbsp raspberry liqueur (Optional)

In the bowl of a food processor, place raspberries, sugar, lemon juice and zest. Blend until pureed. Place a fine-meshed strainer over a bowl. Pour the berry mixture through the strainer to remove the seeds, pressing down with a spoon to force the fruit and juices through. If you have a food mill, use the finest blade to keep the seeds out but the fruit pulp in. Transfer to a covered non-reactive container and refrigerate until ready to serve. The puree will keep well for several days.

This works for most berries and makes a wonderful complimentary sauce for a dessert plate.

Harvey

Surgery Scheduled

At my appointment yesterday, Dr. Scarth, the surgeon, confirmed that chemotherapy has reduced the size of the lump so that he can proceed with surgery, a modified radical mascetomy. It's usually scheduled about two months after chemo has ended, to make sure the body is recovering from being poisoned.

One surprise to me is that it will be day surgery, reducing the risk from hospital infections and hospital food. I guess they do it this way as long as you are otherwise in good health and have someone at home to provide some attention. The other surprise is that it is scheduled for next week, August 14, leaving hardly any worrying time between now and then.

I'll be seeing a physiotherapist and the surgeon says its important to get the shoulder moving right away, and not to favour it at all. I've also found a book at the library with a post-breast surgery exercise program that may be helpful.

Wendy

Feeding the Celebratory tummy

It was Wendy’s birthday on August 1, and it was as special a day as I can remember. I usually make “Wendy’s Chocolate Heaven” for her birthday - a concoction of Milk chocolate mousse, Dark chocolate mousse and White chocolate mousse and some cake. But this year she had a bunch of raspberries she had picked and suggested something incorporating them. And who am I to refuse a perfectly reasonable request? So here is.

Chocolate Raspberry Tarte

For the crust:
115 grams (1/2 cup) sweet butter at room temperature
115 grams (1/2 cup) sugar
3 ml (1/2 tspn) salt
15 ml (1 tbspn) vanilla
50 grams (1/2 cup) powdered cocoa
175 grams (1/5 cups) all purpose flour

1. Combine butter, sugar, salt and vanilla in food processor fitted with metal blade and process until creamy.
2. Add cocoa and process for one minute.
add flour and pulse ten of 15 times to combine with mixture. Turn out onto a piece of clear plastic wrap, form into a flat circle, wrap and cool in fridge for about one hour.
3. Lightly grease a flan tin (a pie tin with a removable base), remove the dough from the fridge and rest it for ten minutes. Spread the dough on the pie plate and work it until it covers the bottom and sides of the pan. Cool for one hour in the fridge. Cover with parchment and weigh down with pie weights.
4. Bake for 10 minutes at 350o F for 10 minutes. Remove paper and weights and bake a further 5 minutes. Set aside to cool.

For the Filling.

500 grams Milk chocolate.
150 ml whipping cream
100 ml. raspberry coulis
25 g (2 tblspn) sweet butter
1 pint fresh raspberries

1. melt chocolate in mixing bowl over simmering water.
2. mix whipping cream and raspberry coulis in a small pot and bring to a boil.
3. add hot liquid to the melted chocolate and remove from heat. With a rubber spatula mix the chocolate and liquid until it is well mixed. Add butter and mix well.
4. Let cool and then pour into cooled pie shell. Refrigerate for half an hour or so.
5. prepare about 1 pint of raspberries by picking them over and discarding crushed or bad ones.
6. Remove pie from fridge and place raspberries on the top of the chocolate ganache. There are extra marks for placing the berries neatly – in concentric circles. The berries will partially sink into the ganache. Refrigerate again.

Depending on how hungry your guests are, you should be able to get 10 or 12 nice pieces out of this pie. Serve cold with raspberry or blackberry coulis and ice cream. We had a great birthday party.

Both milk and white chocolate will work with this recipe. If you want to use a dark chocolate ganache you need to use more whipping cream. Email me if you need hints on working with chocolate.

Harvey

Berry Picking

The u-pick raspberries were ready when I got back, so spent a sunny afternoon picking last week. Harvey made an amazing chocolate raspberry tart for my birthday; I'll ask if he'll post the recipe.

Much to my surprise, the wild blueberries are also ripe - it seems quite early for them - and a bountiful crop. I've been enjoying picking those, and eating them in muffins, pancakes and on their own, with some going into the freezer.

I also harvested the crop (about half a cup each!) from the currant and gooseberry shrubs I planted late last fall. Wasn't really expecting any fruit from them this year.

We're also trying to keep up with our weekly vegetable deliveries, which last week included green and yellow beans, 2 kinds of peas, carrots, beets, new potatoes and salad greens. Anybody have a good recipe for bean salad - the one I made isn't as good as some I've tasted.

Wendy

Ontario Visit

Just back from trip to southern Ontario - hadn't seen the house where I grew up since my sister Joyce moved in last summer after the renovations were completed. The painting had been done and the floors were being refinished on my last visit. Harvey and I had made some suggestions based on the first set of plans so it was neat to see how it's working now that she's settled in. It looks great - the big eat-in kitchen with access to a new deck is the centre of activity. Joyce with her contractor saved and reused original molding, doors, door hardware, light fixtures, and she's had a lot of old family furniture reupholstered. She's done a lot of work on the landscaping too; with all the rain they've had everything is extremely green and some plants much taller than normal.

I also got a tour of a house just down the road, where a friend grew up - they used the same contractor and are just settling in there, with landscaping still to be done. It looks great too - nice to see these old houses (Joyce's built in 1888/89 as the second home on the farm) get a new life. We also visited a house on Lake Erie which a friend of Joyce's built on the site of the family cottage to see the fabulous landscaping he has done - established parts of his gardens have already appeared in magazines. And another friend who's in the midst of an addition to an old brick house - she's chosen a lovely bright and bold colour scheme including blue kitchen counters and cabinets.

My other sister Diane also came for several days, Harvey's sister Beth drove out from Toronto for a house tour and lunch, as did Kathy, a friend from high school. We ate lots of freshly picked sweet corn, went to Port Dover on a hot sunny Sunday afternoon (I had perch and chips for lunch) and on another hot day Joyce and I had ice cream cones at Hewitts.

I was able to fly in and out of Hamilton, which is really convenient, but unfortunately these flights have been cancelled as part of their recent schedule reductions.

Great trip, and good to be back!

Wendy

On to the Next Step

Yesterday I saw Dr Burnell, my oncologist, who says the results of my scans look fine, and the chemotherapy has reduced the size of the lump, so she's referred me to the surgeon, Dr Scarth, who will decide what's next. I have an appointment with him the week after next.

Last night went to see Mama Mia - it was really fun and Meryl Streep was great. Of course I now have various ABBA songs stuck in my head.

Tomorrow I head to hot and humid southern Ontario for a visit with my sisters - I understand that the sweet corn is ready there, and expect there'll be raspberries to pick here when I get back.

Wendy

Feeding the not so Tender Tummy

With the end of chemo, Wendy's taste buds are rediscovering flavours long forgotten. Why she's even had coffee, a beverage she hasn't drunk in six months. And her tummy isn't quite as sensitive so the door is open to a wider variety of foods. Good timeing too, because we're starting to get veggies from our CSA partners at Chestnut Hill Farm. Lots of salad greens, kale, beet greens and even turnip greens along with carrots, baby carrots, turnips and beets, green onions, and radishes. I've got at least one really great recipe for producing edible cooked greens.

Wendy's hair is slowly growing back. She almost has enough to call it a 'brush cut', but not enough to cover her scalp yet. Her colour has returned and she's getting strong and healthy for her surgery.

We had a wonderful supper with our friends Lynn and Dale a couple of weeks ago in which Lynn produced a table full of summer treats, all cool and perfect for a hot day. One of the salads that caught Wendy's palate was a pasta salad full of Middle Eastern flavours. Thanks to Lynn for sharing the recipe.

HELEN’S ORZO SALAD WITH ROASTED CARROTS, CURRANTS & PINE NUTS

1 C. orzo
½ t. turmeric (for cooking orzo)
4 carrots, peeled
½ t. turmeric (for roasting carrots)
1 t. ground cumin
1 t. ground coriander
1 t. paprika
½ C. currants (or dried cranberries)
½ C. pine nuts, toasted
# T. chopped, fresh corianer
¼ C. olive oil
2 T. spiced vinegar
salt & pepper to taste

1. Cook orzo with plenty of water & ½ t. tumeric, until just tender ( about 10 minutes). Set aside to cool
2. Pre-heat oven to 350 F. Cut carrots in half length-wise, then slice on diagonal into 1 cm. thick pieces.Place in roasting pan, drizzle with a little oil, sprinkle with spices, toss to coat evenly. Roast for 30 min., remove & allow to cool.
3. Mix orzo, carrots, currants, pine nuts, coriander, oil & vinegar together well. Season to taste.

Serves 6

Feeding the more Robust Tummy

With the end of chemo, Wendy's tummy is returning to normal (she has had her first coffee in six months) and she's eating a larger variety of foods. She's got fuzz on her head now and that's quickly becoming a head of hair. She's just got to gain a few pounds to look her best. Here's a recipe that doesn't inlude bacon.



Recently, we had a meal with our friends Lynne and Dale. Lynne made a whole beautiful summer meal of cool salads that was perfect for the weather. One salad Wendy really enjoyed was a pasta salad using orzo and middle eastern spices. Thanks to Lynne for permission to print her recipe.



HELEN’S ORZO SALAD WITH ROASTED CARROTS, CURRANTS & PINE NUTS


1 C. orzo
½ t. tumeric (for cooking orzo)
4 carrots, peeled
½ t. tumeric (for roasting carrots)
1 t. ground cumin
1 t. ground coriander
1 t. paprike
½ C. currants (or dried cranberries)
½ C. pine nuts, toasted
# T. chopped, fresh corianer
¼ C. olive oil
2 T. spiced vinegar
salt & pepper to taste

1. Cook orzo with plenty of water & ½ t. tumeric, until just tender ( about 10 minutes). Set aside to cool
2. Pre-heat oven to 350 F. Cut carrots in half length-wise, then slice on diagonal into 1 cm. thick pieces.Place in roasting pan, drizzle with a little oil, sprinkle with spices, toss to coat evenly. Roast for 30 min., remove & allow to cool.
3. Mix orzo, carrots, currants, pine nuts, coriander, oil & vinegar together well. Season to taste.

Serves 6 (depending on what else you serve)



Harvey

Red Toenails

Awhile back my thoughtful colleagues from Hospitality Saint John presented me with a lovely get well basket which included a gift certificate for a pedicure. This being barefeet season (actually at the time we'd had a week of fog, but I was hoping for barefeet season) I made an appointment for my first-ever pedicure. It was lovely and, at Harvey's suggestion, got my toenails done to match my red sandals. (His suggestion was red, not the matching the sandals part!)

Thanks so much to Willa and Jennifer at Inn on the Cove for this lovely treat.

Wendy

Chemotherapy Completed

Chemotherapy is finished and my hair is starting to come back. I have eyebrows again and there's a visible fuzz of hair on my head, which is very soft. Not sure how quickly it will come back, never having grown a new head of hair before, but I'll still need my hat wardrobe.

Appointments this week for CT and bone scans. My oncologist will have the results of these when I see her the week after next. The CT scan doesn't take long, after drinking a barium liquid in advance and then getting an injection of dye. The bone scan takes longer; there's a 2 hour wait after some sort of radioactive injection. The scan itself takes 20 minutes of staying very still, a good opportunity for meditation.

Wendy

Strawberry Season

We've been enjoying fresh local strawberries for the last week including some in our first delivery from Chestnut Farm. I picked a few wild ones at the edge of Rockwood Park on my walk the other day. That whetted my appetite and on the weekend I went out to a U-pick; should have got going a little earlier because the heat limited my stay. But I did get enough to eat fresh as well as freeze some.

Our first box from the farm also included carrots, lettuce, green onions, beet greens and swiss chard. Harvey found a great recipe for the greens, cooked with onions and a few slices of finely chopped bacon. I'm hoping there'll be peas in this week's assortment.

Wendy

Happy New Month

My blood count was low again so we weren't able to go ahead with chemotherapy on Monday. Just got back from the hospital where they took more samples, so should be able to find out where we're at tomorrow.

On Friday we had a lovely outing, taking the old highway up the river valley, with a stop for lunch in Gagetown. Then on to the Beaverbrook Art Gallery in Fredericton to see the new NB architecture exhibition. Great photographs but not a lot of interpretation or different levels of information.

We celebrated Canada Day with a potluck gathering at friends who live outside the Saint John fog belt. It was warm and sunny so we could sit outside and admire the garden. Fireworks in Saint John were postponed until tonight because of fog, but the fog is persisting today.

This afternoon we'll be receiving our first vegetable delivery from Chestnut Farm, so perhaps more recipes to come.

Wendy

Treatment Today

We were able to proceed with chemotherapy today; one more treatment to go, hopefully next Monday. Then I'll go for CT and bone scans again, so Dr. Burnelle can determine what's next.

It's been very humid with occasional rain the last few days. We can see fog down below but it usually doesn't come up the hill this high.

The neighbourhood deer came for a visit sometime late Saturday night - lots of hosta leaves on the sidewalk when we got up the next morning, but the hostas seem to have survived. The first of the peony buds have come into bloom, despite the cloud.

Wendy

This Week's Events

My blood counts weren't quite high enough to go ahead with chemotherapy as scheduled this week; the doctor has prescribed self-administered shots again, to stimulate white blood cell production. Also found a sequence of postures for the immune system in one of my yoga books, so I'm trying that too. So we should be able to proceed next week.

Earlier this week I attended the second afternoon of a two-part art therapy workshop offered by the Cancer Society. The instructor is a former RN who is just completing an art therapy program offered at a college in BC; she needs a certain number of working hours to finish, so we were part of that. The first afternoon we worked with watercolours on canvas, on the theme of what we are thankful for. In between the 2 sessions she made these into a wall hanging for the Cancer Society offices. This week we used either watercolours or oil pastels, and, because we'd gotten to know each other a bit, there was a lot more sharing of our experiences as well as painting/drawing.

I've also been part of some public input sessions on the upgrading of Reversing Falls - and yes, the point was made that Reversing Falls Rapids would be a more appropriate name.

And Harvey's son Matthew, who's a long distance truck driver again, stopped by for an overnight visit, enroute from deliveries in NS back to Montreal. He parked at a truck stop, assuming that his truck wouldn't be welcome in a residential area. There was a taxi there but when he asked the driver if he wanted a fare, was surprised that the answer was "no". Another man overheard this and offered to drop Matthew off where he was going (turned out he was an off duty cab driver). Matthew was quite impressed; said "that would never happen in Ontario."

Wendy

Fiddlehead Soup

I can understand why fiddleheads became such a popular food. They would have been the first edible green thing anyone had seen in months. To me thay have an odd 'mouth feel" but not an unpleasant flavour. For this recipe you can easily substitute asparagus.

500 grams fiddleheads
1 medium onion, cisler (chopped)
100 ml white wine
1.5 liter chicken or vegetable stock
15 ml Herbes Salee*
lemon juice
butter
sour cream

*Herbes Salee is an Acadian or Quebecois perserve consisting of carrots, parsely, onions, leeks, savoury and a great deal of salt. I bought some on our last trip to Quebec, thinking it was a pickle, but it turns out to be a garnish. It has a much sharper flavour than dried herbs.

Pick through the fiddleheads and choose a dozen or so small, tight attractive heads for decoration. Trim them and put them aside in the fridge.

Sweat the onions in butter until they are soft. Add the white wine and reduce to a glaze. Add the chicken stock and fiddleheads and Herbes Salee and bring to a simmer. cook until the fiddleheads are soft.

Using an immersion blender, stand blender or food processer blend the soup as thoroughly as possible. No matter how well your equipment works, there will be lots of detritus left in the liquid. To eliminate this, work the liquid through a seive. It will take some effort to work the liquid out of the solids, but it will be worth it. Gently work the solids with the back of a spoon until you've extracted all the liquid. Dispose of the solids.

Put the liquid in a pot, taste and add some lemon juice. Just enough to brighten up the soup. To serve, bring the soup to a simmer, add the fiddleheads you've set aside and cook until just tender-crisp. Serve with a dollop of sour cream.

For asparagus, cut off the white parts and dispose of them. cut off the tips and set aside. Chop the stalks into one inch pieces and proceed as above.

Treatment to Proceed

We enjoyed the rest of my sister Diane's visit, which included a trip to St Andrews where we vistied the first farmers market of the season, shopping at Frenchy's and introducing her to Quiddler, a card word game we're fond of. We knew it was time for her to go home when she started to beat us! She also helped me plant grass seed in the many bare spots on our front lawn; the birds enjoyed some but there are new green shoots coming up.

My white blood count has improved so we should be able to go ahead with chemotherapy next week. I see my oncologist again on Monday, delayed from this week because she was grounded in Toronto by the thunderstorms.

Had a chance to see The Stone Angel, at a sold out screening as part of the independent film series. It was very well done; now I want to reread the book.

We had friends over for dinner last night and Harvey made his fiddlehead soup, which we've decided is the best way to serve fiddleheads. The only complaint was there wasn't enough for seconds. I'll ask him if he'll post the recipe.

During the Kings County studio tour on the weekend we visited 4 or 5 studios, enjoying the great looking gardens as well as interesting art. A great day for a drive through the river valley, with the sun shining and the lupines in bloom.

Wendy

Hosting a Visitor

My sister Diane arrived Sunday night from Ontario for a visit. Harvey is enjoying the practice of having someone to cook for whose tastes are less limited than mine currently. Yesterday we got a lovely piece of salmon which Harvey served with an interesting sauce, fiddleheads and roast potatoes, with a blueberry/blackberry cobbler for dessert. Our freezer is still quite well stocked with fruit thanks to my picking last summer.

On Monday Diane went with me to the Look Good, Feel Better seminar put on through the Cancer Society for women going through treatment. There were about 10 participants with 5 volunteers helping with the presentation. The main focus is on makeup; we went through the whole process from cleanser to lip gloss, each receiving a large package of products supplied by the Canadian cosmetic manufacturers association. A new experience for me, but it was done with quite a light touch so didn't look bad. It was particularly nice to have eyebrows again, since mine have largely disappeared; that's something I'll likely continue to do. Also a bit about wigs, hats and scarves. The whole thing was nicely done and I understand why people recommended it.

My white blood cell count wasn't high enough to go ahead with chemotherapy this week. My doctor has decided that I need to get blood checked twice a week rather than once, so I go back for that tomorrow. Hopefully we will be able to go ahead with treatment next week.

Wendy

Treatment Underway Again

Thanks to the self-administered injections, my white blood cells are approaching the normal range, so we were able to go ahead with the next round of chemotherapy starting today.

Despite my less than green thumb, every year at this time I get the urge to do some gardening. After visiting several garden centres over the weekend, my new additions have all been planted - some perennials, annuals and a few herbs. Still need to get some grass seed on the bare spots on our lawn, before even more dandelions move in.

Last spring when we moved my intention had been to bring some of the rhubarb from the Woodville Road backyard with us, but we got busy with all the other preparing to move stuff and the transplanting didn't happen. This year there's none to be had at the nurseries, but a friend has offered me some of hers - hopefully I can find a suitable spot for it in our backyard.

Things get greener by the day, especially with the rain we've had this week - and there are lots of blossoms out.

Wendy

Fresh Ingredients

We've discovered an organic family farm on the Kingston Peninsula that is doing Community Supported Agriculture, so we've purchased a share. Beginning in mid-June, weekly for 20 weeks, we'll get a box of fresh vegetables delivered to us (or we can go to the farm to pick them up). There will be a variety of greens, root crops and other vegetables depending on what's in season. (I'm hoping not too heavy on the green beans!) They are growing a variety of lettuces and different types of tomatoes.

Harvey may have some new cooking adventures to report, depending on what appears.

And the gooseberry and currant bushes I planted very late last fall have survived, so I may eventually be able to pick fruit without leaving our yard.

Wendy

Treatment Continues

I was scheduled to start my fifth (of six) round of chemotherapy today, but my white blood count was still too low, even after the week's delay. My doctor prescribed something that stimulates white blood cell production, which I'll give myself by injection for the next five days, after a practice session with the nurse today on how to do that. The things I'm learning through this process!

I've decided to take time off from work until my treatments are completed sometime this fall. As you can imagine, this was a difficult decision to make, and certainly something I was not ready to do in January when treatments started. But I think focusing on dealing with this is the best thing to do now.

So that starts today too - Harvey is a little worried about having me around the house more, so he may have a future report about that.

Wendy

A Slight Delay

My blood counts this week were "borderline" so my next chemotherapy treatment has been delayed until next week.

Am feeling ok and have been able to get out and do a bit of cleaning up in the garden. Its raining today so that should really make things grow. The rhodedendron outside our kitchen window is in blooming - last year it attracted hummingbirds regularly but haven't seen any of them yet. Harvey fears that he will soon need to cut the lawn!

Wendy

High Water

The Saint John River is forecast to reach its peak here tonight or tomorrow. A few roads closed and houses evacuated in the City, but quite minor compared to upstream.

We checked out Reversing Falls at high tide on Friday and there was so much water coming down the river that it wasn't reversing. It was pretty impressive at low tide too.

Today we went out for a meal at a restaurant for the first time in several months. Borscht at the Polish restaurant at Hammond River was calling me. The restaurant is on a hill overlooking the river, and we could see the water creeping over the road on the other side. It's cut off access to Darlings Island, so people are getting in and out by boat.

My throat is still a bit sore, but no longer keeping me from eating. I get my blood checked tomorrow and if it's ok, chemotherapy on Wednesday.

Wendy

Home again

Wendy was kicked out of her room thim morning. White blood cell count was good enough.

Hurray!!

Waiting for the White Blood Cells

I've gone from zero to having some white blood cells since the weekend. I'm nowhere near the normal level yet, but slowly getting there. The doctors say if my white blood cound keeps going up, they'll let me out here in the next few days.

In the meantime, I've had lots of reading time sitting in my sunny south-facing window, Bothe oncology out patient waiting room and the lounge on 5 South have small collections of donated paperbacks, mostly the typical Danielle Steele/James Patterson type. However, I've read two really interesting books serendipitously found there: The Fox Boy, in which the author investigates and recounts the life of a Maori boy aducted by white European New Zealanders in the 1860s. With the focus, the book becomes a much larger story of the relatiohship between whites and Maoris so you learn quite a bit of New Zealand history.

My other find was Rudy Wiebe's "The Blue Mountains of China" - one of his early novels. It looks at the Russion Mennonite experience from 1929 whentheir farms and property were taken to become collectives, to the late 1960s. The interesing part is the structure - with different chapters from the perspective of different charaters, some related and some nterconnected as time goes on.

Now I'm reading Michael Ondaatje's "Divisadero", and dipping into Garrison Keillor's "Good Poesm" collection.

I'm getting Harvey to tpye and post this for me.

Wendy

Monday, April 28, 2008

Wendy's white blood count remains low, at the last report, so Wendy remains in the hospital. She has books and her notebook and I'm sure she's keeping a Journal. Ocassionally I'm sent home with something to type into this blog or send emails.

During my visits we've been playing Quiddler, a word game in which each person is dealt letters and must make up words and use up all the cards dealt. I've only won once out of the six games we've played. I may have to switch to cribbage to extract my revenge on her.

Our friend Jack visited on Friday evening and Lynn visited on Sunday evening. Nice breaks in our routine.

Wendy remains cheerful and positive. She's eating as well as their purtrid diet allows and drinking lots of fluid.

Harvey

The View from 5A South Friday, April 25

When the sun was shining earlier today, you could see the green spring fuzz of the buds on the trees and the grass is greening up. Harvey left at lunchtime, hoping to finish raking last autumn's leaves this afternoon. We have several large maples and are surrounded by many mature trees.

The sores in my mouth are healing and my throat is working better. They put me on a liquid diet this time and it was worked out much better. My blood counts are gradually improving so that I will have an immune system again by the time I leave. That won't happen till sometime after the weekend.

I found a Penguin Edition of Rudy Weibe's The Blue Mountains of China in the patient lounge. As I haven't read it yet, it is a delightful find (among the heart-throbbing romance novels) and I'm afraid I will finish it too quickly.

Wendy (typed by Harvey)

Moved to 5A South room 12

They found a single room for Wendy this morning and moved her there. Patients who are susceptable to infections are usually housed in single rooms to cut down on the risks. Handwashing rules still apply, as to the no flowers injunction and the prohibition on sick visitors. Wendy has to wear a mask when she leaves the room for a walk. (Still attached to her IV pump.)

According to the doc (Doctor Wendy Smith) she'll be in over the weekend as they build up her white blood count and stuff her full of antibiotics. She got a load of platelets yesterday and her temperature went up a degree. Not unheard of in the world of blood product transfusion. Her temperature is hovering around the normal mark now.

Lunch today was Cream of Celery soup, two containers of Chocolate instant breakfast, one container of Cranberry juice, one small container of milk and one banana. Lots of liquid.

Wendy is in good spirits, considering the situation, and the staff are friendly.

Harvey

From 5A South, room 2

Wendy's back in hospital with a very low white blood cell count and some infection. She's on IV antibiotics and waiting for the results of a bunch of tests they did this evening. It's not nearly as bad this time because she reported her symptoms right away. So they'll be pumping her full of stuff to kill all the bad germs and stuff to build up white blood cells. I'm hoping they offer her some medication for her throat this time.

You know, it's easy enough to handle the "Bridge out" sign on the road, but the damned little pot holes will get you every time.

It's Okay to visit but remember no flowers, wash your hands upon entry, and if you're sick, or you've been around sick people, don't visit.

Harvey

Feeding the tender Tummy, Part 5

To say Wendy's taste buds have changed, or her reaction to the smells of certain foods has changed, is an understatement. For example, anything to do with chicken or turkey has been banned from the kitchen until chemo is over. Red berry juices are out too. So is coffee. On the other hand, tzatziki is a much appreciated food. So, I've been testing recipes and running ideas by Wendy. Most seem to fall short. A not too spicy hamburger stew passes the test but not every night. Trying to come up with a high calorie balanced diet is frustrating.

The other day I cooked up some bacon that was getting a bit long in the tooth. I used some of it in an omlet and the rest I put on a plate for future use. It didn't survive the dinner. Wendy had tzatziki, pita and bacon. Following that thread I made hot potato salad with bacon last night and she had two helpings. Gotta put some meat back on those bones.

Hot Potato Salad with Bacon.

6 strips bacon (about half a 500 gram package and more if you're making a meal out of this)
1 large onion diced (cisler is the proper term.)
5 or 6 medium Yukon Gold or Red Bliss potatoes (about 2 lbs) cut into bite sized pieces.
1/3 cup vinegar. Use a high quality cider vinegar, or a wine vinegar for added flavour.

Put the potatoes on to steam or boil (More nutrients in steamed vegetables)
Cut the bacon into pieces. Saute until they are crisp. Add the onions and cook until they start to turn brown. Add the vinegar and boil to reduce slightly. It's the bacon fat and vinegar that make the vinagrette for the potato salad.

Add the cooked potatoes, lightly salt and pepper them, toss them in the bacon mixture and put into a bowl. Serve hot.

Note: you can steam bite sized bits of carrots with the potatoes to add to the salad, and you can add green or red pepper or diced celery with the onion.

Harvey

Spring Update

A beautiful sunny day - from the chemotherapy room, where I spend the whole afternoon, I had a view of lovely little garden courtyard which was getting some early season gardening attention.

My colleague Regi returned yesterday from the Canadian Museums Association conference in Victoria, bearing greetings and gifts from those I normally see there. Thanks to everyone for their support - and especially to Lawrie for the unbeatable combination of tea and chocolate.

It was also a pleasure to come home yesterday to a cleaned house. Pat and her assistant whipped it into shape in not much more than an hour - with a call in the evening to make sure I was happy with what they had done.

Wendy

Belated Update

My apologies for the delay in a new blog posting since I got out of hospital.

Started a new round of chemotherapy today - this is 4 of 6 planned. Drinking enough fluid (2 litres a day) is still a challenge, but I was thoroughly threatened by one of the more scary chemo nurses today, so I'm busy sipping.

We found someone to come in every two weeks to do some housecleaning for us. Had tried Molly Maid a while back but was not at all happy with them; I have a feeling this may work better. She gets most of her business by word of mouth, has one employee who has been with her for 10 years , and her notes about what we wanted done incuded writing down at the pets' names.

Am back at work - probably 4 half days this week, but will see how it goes. We've refocussed how I'm spending my time from the day to day stuff which needs regular attention to some longer term projects which I can work on more independently.

Thanks for all the good wishes and positive thoughts you've been sending.

Wendy

Tuesday, April 1, 2008, Hawthorne Ave

Wendy is home.

Hurray!!

Monday, March 31, Eating my way out of hospital.

No temperature spikes in the past 48 hours, food intake over 1000 calories, fluid intake is reasonable, and she's feeling antsy. Up till now Wendy has been accepting of her confinement in the Saint John Regional Hospital, but today she was much less happy about being there. She wants her own bed, and perhaps most of all to be unattached from the damned IV pump she's been with for the past two weeks. Damn, that's a long time.

Her doctor said as long as her temperature remains within a normal range I could bring her home tomorrow. I guess I'd better tidy up some.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Harvey

5A South, Room 2, Window (Sunday)

I thought I might get out today, but the doctor sent me for a chest x-ray yesterday and found there was still something there. So she has prescribed antibiotics again to get it cleared up. My temperature went up briefly yesterday, but it's been back to normal since.

I also have to be taking in 1000 calories a day to be released. I almost did that for the first time yesterday. It's getting a lot easier as my throat is less sore. They've also given me some additional menu options that I can choose from and Harvey's bringing in extra things in response to my requests about things i think I can eat.

I guess I know I'm sick because I haven't been terribly bored this past two weeks. I'm starting to get that way now, though.

Saturday, March 29

Wendy hasn't quite made the 1000 calories yet, but looking at the food she's getting from the hospital, I couldn't make 1000 calories in a day. It has to be the most unappealing food presentation I've ever seen. Even if it is nutritionally balanced and healthy food, it looks terrible.

I'm not surprised though. Sounds like Canada did a special on hospital food a while back and an executive from the place that makes the food for most of the hospitals in Ontario, called the meals they produced "PRODUCT". Not meals, plates, food, but product. Sigh. I suppose that attitude just doesn't sit well with someone who enjoys his food so much and who always makes a special effort to produce excellent, balanced meals. A meal is about pleasure - pleasing the eye, the palate and the other senses - and tradition. A meal that looks unappealing, won't satisfy and may well not get eaten. That doesn't help a sick person get well at all. Okay, that's enough ranting.

I took Wendy some roassted vegetable soup (enriched with whipping cream) yesterday and today some tzatziki and croissants. Lots of flavour there and lots of calories too. She's eating and drinking today and we're hoping the doctor approves.

Harvey

From Floor 5A South, Room 2

They moved Wendy from the isolation room to a shared room this afternoon. This, we hope, is an indication that her condition is improving. She was able to eat her Cream of Wheat this morning and two 125 ml cartons of milk, a banana, water and juice. Her goal is a minimum of 1000 calories a day and normal fluid intake.

She's feeling much better and was able to talk today. She's coughing a lot less and her colour is a healthy pink now. Her throat is still sore and it hurts to swallow, but she can at least swallow now. They've taken her off antibiotics and blood enhancers and her blood count is now normal and her oxygen saturation was 95%. The professionals think that her own system can now manage her healing if she gets proper nutrition. We're looking forward to her leaving that place soon.

Harvey

feeding the tender tummy Part 4

One of our 'comfort foods' before this began was macaroni and cheese. NOT Krap dinner but real macaroni and cheese. Here's my simple recipe:

2 cups dry elbow macaroni

3 tablespoons flour
3 Tablespoons butter
1 table spoon Dijon mustard
2 cup milk, heated in microwave

2 cups shredded Sharp Cheddar (or more if you love cheese) divided into two portions.

Put a large pot of water on to boil.

in a saucepan melt the butter gently and add the flour. Mix with a wooden spoon until the two are combined and bubbling. Mix in the mustard.

Pour in the hot milk slowly, wisking as you pour. Keep wisking as you heat the sauce until it bpils. turn the heat down and simmer the milk mixture. It will thicken and will burn easliy on a hot element. You have just made a Sauce Bechamel. One of the important 'mother sauces' of French cuisine. Cooking the sauce for fifteen to twenty minutes gets rid of the 'raw flour' taste.

The pot of water should be boiling by now. Put the two cups of macaroni into the water and simmer until cooked. (Ten to thirteen minutes for most brands.) When cooked drain the macaroni in a collander.

Take the Sauce Bechamel off the heat, add one cup of cheddar and mix until it has melted and is mixed evenly. (If you boil the sauce with the Cheese in it, it may make the cheese separate and become stringy and unattractive.) Add the cooked macaroni and mix well. Put the macaroni mixture into a shallow ovenproof dish, sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top and put into a 350 oven for 20-30 minutes.

Serve with a salad.

Enhancing Macaroni and Cheese (From the Globe and Mail, Sat. March 22, 2008)

Put the two cups of milk into a saucepan with two cloves of crushed. garlic. Bring to a simmer and let stand for ten or fifteen minutes. Strain the milk into the Bechamel.

Substitute the cup of cheddar in the Bechamel with 1/2 cup Gruyere and 1/2 cup blue cheese. A full cup of Blue cheese is a bit strong for most people. Stilton or Gorgonzola will work equally well.

Dice six slices of bacon and gently saute in a saute pan. Add one finely diced medium onion and cook until translucent and the bacon is cooked. Divide the bacon mixture into two portions and mix one into the macaroni and the other with the topping. The smoky flavour of the bacon adds an interesting flavour to the macaroni. Makes me think that hot smoked salmon would also make a good additive.

Add the diced meat from a one pound lobster. Yum!!

Wendy's Sister, Joyce, assisted me in testing these enhancements this weekend and approved of them. We both had seconds. I won't try these on Wendy until her taste buds return to normal.

Harvey

Off Topic

Tuesday morning I came downstairs and did my morning thing with the computer. On the way upstairs I stepped into a puddle at the bottom of the stairs. Upon further investigation I discovered that the water tank was leaking. there was an inch of water in the utility room, less in the hallway, and some in the Cottage room. I turned the water off, called Irving Oil about their water heater, and grabbed some old towels. Finally, I took my wet/dry vacuum and discovered that the wet part did, indeed, work it took about three hours, but I managed to get the water cleaned up and with a couple of heaters even got the floor dry. A couple of technicians showed up around 4 o'clock and a new water heater was installed by five. Not a terribly serious mishap, but very stressful on top of everything else.

I had a nice long shower this morning.

I'm off to see Wendy soon. The doctor said this takes time and we should be patient. (hahahahaha) Wendy is slowly improving.

Harvey

From 5A South, room 13 Saint John Regional Hospital

I'm feeling a little better today (Saturday), sitting up in bed, taking the occasional sip of water, ginger ale, or grapefruit juice. I've managed a couple of short walks around the ward holding onto Harvey's arm while Joyce pushed the IV stand and pump beside me. This morning at rounds the on-call doctor said they would be cutting back on the IVs which sounds like a good thing. I still sound like Darth Vader's mom when I talk- a particularly nice effect on the telephone. It's getting easier to swallow liquids, but food is still a problem. I can get down small amounts of things like Cream of Wheat, yoghurt or jello. In addition to the regular menu tray (the choices don't usually include anything much useful for me) there is a small kitchen with some food items and a place patients can keep thier own food. I have some full fat yoghurt and some jello that Harvey made with orange juice and a small container of Grapefruit juice.

Harvey and Joyce were headed to the City Market this morning to pick up ingredients. Having Joyce to cook for gave Harvey the excuse to try the Globe and Mail recipe for 4 cheese macaroni with lobster. Now that's comfort food with flair. I hope to try it someday.

It's great having Joyce here for a visit. Being in Helath care herself, she looks at how I'm being treated with fresh eyes, which is useful. She's taken Comet for a couple of walks, which he's been a bit short of lately, so she has made a friend for life.

I've managed to read the Globe and Mail and the Telegraph Journal to keep up with the news as well as some books. I've started "Before Green Gables" by Budge Wilson, which has just been published, and it is quite good. Since I can't eat chocolate, Harvey bought the book as a Valentine's Day gift.

It's difficult having visitors. I'm isolated here, in a private room, to keep infections and potential infections away. My temperature is not stable and they are very concerned with fevers in my immunc-comprimised condition. I can't talk much and cough a lot. I'm not even permitted flowers. They're big on hand sanitizing upon entering and leaving my room. This is the longest I've been in a hospital since I was born and I am not eager to repeat any time soon.

Harvey has been bringing me news of your emails and telephone calls and I'm grateful for your good wishes and support.

Wendy
(typed by Harvey)

Hospitalization 5

Well, Joyce arrived last night from Montreal, 12 hours late and in the middle of a minor snowstorm. We went up to see Wendy this morning and managed to get all caught up on news from Ontario. Wendy is still slowly improving. She managed to drink the equivalent of two small glasses of various liquids this morning, which sounds silly, but is a vast improvement over the previous few days. She says her throat is beginning to feel better, but she is still coughing up stuff. We took a walk around the ward this morning: me holding Wendy and Joyce leading the IV pump. That gave the cleaners the opportunity to clean up her room.

There is a notice on Wendy's door warning people to sanitize their hands before and after leaving her room, admonishing people with contagious diseases to remain outside the room, and spelling out proper precautions for visitors. The proliferation of Hand Sanitizers certainly makes the point about the role of dirty hands in transmitting diseases.

With Joyce here I will be able to cook supper for someone tonight. I'm really out of practice, what with Wendy unwilling or unable to eat my usual fare.

Wendy says thanks for all the emails.

Harvey

Hospitalization 4

Wendy was much improved today, but still cannot abide to swallow. Taking a couple of mouthfulls of ginger ale or grapefruit juice is considered something worthy of praise by her nurses. Until she can swallow with ease and take her required 2 litres of liquid daily, she will be on an IV line.

Wendy had two half containers of yoghurt today. A bit more than yesterday.

She was well enough to play cribbage tonight We traded wins and quit. Dams! I thought for sure I could beat her in her weakened state.

Wendy took some time last night to write out a "Mea Culpa" for her doctor, in which she admitted her part in letting the infection go so far. I think she was just worried that the doctor would not think well of Wendy for getting so sick without coming in for an assessment.

So, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it may be Monday or Tuesday before Wendy can come home. She has to be able to swallow, drink and eat before they'll let her go.

Joyce is stranded in Dorval because her flight was cancelled due to freezing rain here. We're hoping she'll get here tongith or tomorrow some time.

Harvey

Hospitalization 3

In the past 36 hours (has it only been that long?) Wendy has been hooked up to 2 IV pumps and as many as five bags of various solutions at once. She's had red cells, platelets, regular saline, calcium, magnesium, potassium, various powerful anti-biotics, and some pre-meds to assist in the acceptance of other medications. Very complicated. This evening they removed her second IV line and put a bandaid over it. So tonight, Wednesday, she's down to one pump, one IV line and two bags.

Thay also moved her into a private room. Dr. Brunelle was concerned that her roommate's visitors might bring some virulent bug into the room. and right now, nearly any bug can be virultent for Wendy. Her new room faces the west and we watched the sunset tonight.

They gave Wendy a suction wand, like the dentist uses to wixk away excess saliva, to suction the mucus the infection produces. It saves Wendy a great deal of pain not having to swallow. She can still barely speak above a whisper so we're doing a lot of note making.

I think she's on the mend. I came home with a couple of pages of "Things to Do Before Joyce Arrives" . She also made a joke about this being a very arcane way of getting out of the liine-up at the Oncology outpatient registration desk.

Thank you all for your good thoughts and well wishes.

Hospitalization, Part 2

Wendy had chest X-rays yesterday and they showed her lungs clear of any obstructions to the infection has been downgraded to Bronchitis. Wendy had a restless night due to the coughing and the frequent (every 2 hours) check for vital signs. She seems quite a bit better this morning and gave me a list of things to do before her sister, Joyce, arrives tomorrow.

Wendy is still getting various fluids, including blood products, intravenously. She stall can't speak very well and seems content to just lay back and relax.

I'm headed back with some yoghurt and books. Reading is always a good sign. Thanks to everyone who sent their best wishes, they gave both of us a lift.

Harvey

Hospitalization

At the end of radiation therapy, Wendy had a sore throat, as predicted. The soreness did not fade as hoped and got to the point Wendy could barely swallow. In the past few days she has been unable to eat and even drinking was barely possible. After her blood test on Monday (her haemoglobin was low, another side effect of chemo) she was scheduled for a blood transfusion ths morning, but when she arrived they detected that she had a temperature and referred her to her oncologist. While waiting to register Wendy passed out (I was lucky to catch her and gently lower her to the floor.) Four nurses and a doctor quickly responded and soon had on saline drip and on a gurney. She's been admitted to Saint John Regional Hospital with a provisional diagnosis of pneumonia. Up to this time (3 pm Tuesday) they've given her at least five liters of saline and a very large dose of powerful antibiotics.

With the infusion of liquids, the congestion is loosening up, and as painful as coughing is, it is helping her clear her lungs.

She will be in the hospital at least overnight and perhaps longer considering her low haemoglopin count and she still needs her blood transfusion. I'm just home to gather some things for a hospital stay and will be returning soon.

I will post more when there is more.
Harvey

Feeding the Tender Tummy, part 3

Wendy's tender tummy, easily upset by strong meat cooking smells, has been further exacerbated this past couple of weeks by the side effects of her radiation treatments. Since the radiation was on her neck, her throat has become very tender, making swallowing rough foods difficult. Whle Jello-O is soothing, it hardly constitutes a balanced diet. She's been eating hot cereal for breakfasts (Red River Cereal and Oatmeal) and an odd assortment of vegetarian foods for other meals. We had frozen Spanikopita the other night, but these small frozen tidbits are damned expensive. We tried a curried chickpea dish a while back and it seemed to work. I worked up a recipe for a big pot that cost about the same as a single serving from the frozen food section.

Curried Chickpeas with Tomatoes.

• 2 1/2 cups broth - vegetable or chicken
• 2 - 15 oz cans chickpeas, drained.
• 1 - 15 oz can tomatoes (you could also use a 28 oz. can for a more tomato taste)
• 4 - 6 Yukon gold potatoes cut into 2 cm dice.
• 1 medium onion diced. (optional: 1 clove of garlic, minced)
• butter or oil
• 1 large teaspoon Elephant Brand Curry Powder. (or your favourite Curry) or to taste. I kept the spices down to allow Wendy to eat it.

Melt the butter in a pot and gently saute the onions. Do not allow the onions to brown. When the onions are soft you can throw in a clove of garlic minced. Add the curry and mix well.

Add the stock, chickpeas, tomatoes and potatoes and bring to a boil unocvered. Simmer until the potatoes are cooked and the liquid has reduced.

Serve over rice - basmati, Jasmine, white long grain or brown rice.

This is a very satisfying vegetarian dish. This would make a good side dish for chicken or Lamb. There seems to be enough for six servings as a main dish and eight as a side dish.

Chemotherapy Continues

Saw my oncologist yesterday - was supposed to be Monday, but she got stuck in Toronto because of the weather. She says everything is shrinking (lump in breast and lymph nodes) which means the chemotherapy is working; we continue with another round starting today.

She's given me the ok to do yoga that doesn't involve neck movements. Also said that I only need to wear the collar for my neck when there's a risk of abrupt moves. like in the car.

The nurse who took my history yesterday was one I hadn't seen since I was first diagnosed. She was quite surprised that I was working, and warned me not to overdo it. I said I was being careful and that I had people who would tell me if I was doing to much. She said "And you'll listen to them?' How did she pick that up so fast!

Radiation Treatments Completed

The last of my radiation treatments was yesterday afternoon. The sore throat will likely linger on for another week or so, and the skin on my neck will be more sensitive to sun and cold.

The radiation therapists asked if I wanted my mask as a souvenir, but I delcined,

Harvey has a persistent cold with a sore throat and cough; he's been feeling pretty miserable and not sleeping very well. I've had a bit of a head cold, but not nearly as bad as most of the stuff that's been going around.

We had a big snowstorm Saturday, March coming in like a lion, but today it is melting.

Cancer Support

I've had a call from a volunteer from the Cancer Society, who's been matched up with because she had the same type of cancer and treatment. Although she is from Saint John, I gather that she calls people across Canada. She had the same oncologist as I do and thinks very highly of her, as everyone seems to.

Also went to a breast cancer support group, which meets monthly. About 10 women, most of who have completed their treatment. They usually have a program and then share whatever people feel like sharing, which included some very funny stories.

So these are additional resources for questions and help in dealing with things as the journey continues.

Radiation - Halfway Point

With the treatment yesterday, I'm halfway through the radiation treatments. They are having the anticipated side effects - for a couple of days it felt like there was a big lump in my throat (wonder if this is what a hairball feels like for a cat) and now it just feels sore. The skin around my neck is a bit tender and will be more sensitive to sun.

We've had sunshine for the last few days, which makes it seem possible that spring is coming.

A Poem We love.

Riveted,
by Robyn Sarah

It is possible that things will not get better
than they are now, or have been known to be.
It is possible that we are past the middle now.
It is possible that we have crossed the great water
without knowing it, and stand now on the other side.
Yes. I think that we have crossed it. Now
we are being given tickets, and they are not
tickets to the show we had been thinking of,
but to a different show, clearly inferior.

Check again, it is our own name on the envelope.
The tickets are to that other show.

It is possible that we will walk out of the darkened hall
without waiting for the last act: people do.
Some people do. But it is probable
that we will stay seated in our narrow seats
all through the tedious denouement
To the unsurprising end – riveted, as it were,
spellbound by our own imperfect lives
Because they are lives
And because they are ours.

From Good Poems for Hard Times
Selected and Introduced by Garrison Keillor

Harvey

Radiation Underway

Had my final planning session for radiation on Monday; they marked my weird plastic mask for the radiation. Have now had 2 of 10 radiation treatments. One of the radiation therapists is also named Wendy - always an indication of quality.

Each time they do 3 treatments each from a different angle; the machine makes a great sound so it is easy to visualize it zapping those unwanted cells.

My new hard collar is more difficult to wear, but does provide more support, which has reduced the pain across my shoulders. As Martha would say, that's a good thing.

No Hair Day - The Documentary

Borrowed this great documentary from the selection of reference material in the oncology waiting room at the hospital. It aired on Viewpoint on PBS a while back, and follows a photo shoot with 3 women who are undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. They met during their treatment and decided that they wanted to do this photo shoot for posterity. The husband of one of them is the filmmaker.

In some of the shots, taken with a very large format camera, they wear scarves or hats and in others go without head covering. One of them comments that she works in a very corporate environment where it wouldn't be acceptable for a woman to be bald or even wear a scarf. "It would make them uncomfortable" so she wore a wig every day and "pretended to be the person I was before I got cancer." Another had a very nice wig, but mostly wore hats and scarves (it was winter) and occasionally went bald. She said she wanted people to know that "I was different...I have cancer and am fighting for my life."

The photos from the shoot look fantastic and it's a documentary worth catching if you get the chance.

Feeding the Tender Tummy, part 2

Fruit and Fibre Muffins.

(Based on a recipe I develeoped for the Take A Break Coffee Shop) This recipe makes between 18 and 24 standard sized muffins, depending on how you dole out the batter.
Set oven at 375

Liquids
1 1/3 cups mashed bananna (nice ripe ones)
1 cup buttermilk or clabber
1 large egg
3 Tablespoons Oil (or melted butter)
1/3 cup molasses
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tspn vanilla
1 cup shredded carrot or zuchinni
1 cup halved cranberries (I've used pineapple - 1/4 inch dice, apple would work too, a cup of chopped walnuts or pecans would also work. If using raisins, soak them in hot water for 10 minutes.)

Dry
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups Wheat bran
1 1/2 tspn Baking Soca
1/2 tspn salt
3 heaping tablespoons ground flax seed.
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 tspn. nutmeg.

1. Stir together the dry ingredients.
2. Stir together the Wet ingredients.
3. Oil two 12 place mufin tins
4. Mix dry and wet ingredients quickly.
5. Spoon into muffin tins and bake on the middle shelf for about 20 minutes. Rotate muffin pans at the ten minute mark to ensure even cooking.
6. At 20 minute mark test for doneness. Remove, let sit for five minutes and then remove from tins and let cool. Once cooled, store in an airtight container. They freeze well.

Because they are not very sweet these muffins are good with cheese.

Radiation Treatment

Had the planning session for my radiation treatment today. It involves fitting a sort of plastic mesh mask over your face and neck. It's put on warm, fitted snugly, then cooled off and removed. Based on the scan, they mark on the mask where the radiation is to be directed. The other function of the mask is to keep your head immobile when they're doing the treatment. I go back next Monday for a final check, then daily for ten radiation treatments.

Also got a new harder neck collar today which provides more support for my neck. Feel a bit like a turtle, but without the ability to retract my head. Harvey, having almost adjusted to the no hair look, is once again adjusting to this new look.

Yoga Practice

Thanks to yoga teacher Debra, I had the opportunity to attend a workshop conducted by Yogi Gi, a teacher from India who recently spent a few days in Saint John. It was lovely to spend the evening in Debra's studio, as Yogi Gi did some gentle stretches with us and talked about the traditions of yoga. His words, and the meditations he guided us through, were a timely reminder for me that the yoga postures, the asansa, traditionally are done in preparation for your body to be still to meditate. So I continue my yoga practice, with a shift to this aspect of it.

Good News, Not So Good News

Met with my oncologist yesterday; she thinks that the chemotherapy is doing what it is supposed to, so we continue.

As a result of pain I've been experiencing across my shoulder blades, an extra bone scan was done in that area and then an MRI. The findings are that there is some growth of breast cancer cells at the base of my neck (cervical 7, thoracic 1& 2), which is causing the pain. The plan is to do radiation treatments now on this area. I'm wearing a cervical collar to restrict sudden movements in the neck area - and when I asked the radiation oncologist about doing yoga, he said no. (In fact, it was a that point he decided that I should have the collar!) We're awaiting confirmation of the start date for radiation, which the oncologist and radiation oncologist are working out.

As someone who has been practicing yoga for fifteen years or so, it is quite odd not to be doing this. However, I have been perusing my books and found a few poses that don't involve the neck - including, of course, relaxation pose, savasana, that we all look forward to at the end of every class!