Final post

"Retirement" Party

A grand cross section of the people Wendy touched through her professional and personal life gathered Monday night, July 12, to celebrate a life well lived. And live it she did, right up to the last moment. Wendy would have loved her ‘retirement party’. There was lots of good food, something to drink, lots of interesting people to talk with, and it was held in one of her favourite places (the Museum) and in the Whale Hall (another of her favourite places).

There was lots of laughing and fond remembrances and not too many tears. I couldn’t have asked for a better or more suitable send off. My heartfelt thanks to the staff at the New Brunswick Museum for making this happen so quickly. There was a short formal program, but most of the evening was spent reminiscing and remembering. And thanks to all the people who showed up to share their memories.

I’m sorry I’ve been so slow in writing this, but words escaped me this past little while and I found staring at a blank screen slightly depressing. Here are a couple of photos taken by our friend, Jim Robertson, from Red Deer.

Sisters Diane and Joyce, me, and my sister, Beth.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Arrangements for Wendy are being handled by Fundy Funeral Home (www.fundyfuneralhome.com). they have published her obituary and have set up a place for condolences and connections to the Canadian Cancer Society and The Stephen Lewis Foundation.

Many thanks to everyone who has sent emails of condolence or remembrance. It is comforting to know how well remembered she really is.

Harvey

Thursday, July 8, 2010

just one more chat
just one more hug or kiss
one more anything

A Celebration

A celebration of Wendy's life will be held at the New Brunswick Museum on Monday, July, 12, 2010, between 5pm and 8pm. Join us in honouring Wendy's life.

Harvey

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I'm saddened to report that Wendy died at 3:45 am, ADST on this day in the Saint John Regional Hospital, Saint John. New Brunswick. I offer my grateful thanks to the staff at the Oncology Department, the Emergency department, the Neurology Ward and the Palliative Care Unit for their timely, compassionate and professional care of Wendy during these past two and a half years.


Wendy has stipulated that there be no funeral. Her remains will be cremated and a celebration of her life will be held at a later date. I will announce the date, time and place in this blog.


Although Wendy had cancer, Cancer never had her. She would not let it dominate her life or determine her course. For every moment of pain and despair she found a moment of light and joy; for every limitation, an open road to speed along; for every setback, a lifetime's worth of hope.


Anyone wishing to do so, may make donations in her name to the Canadian Cancer Society, and for you lefties out there, The Stephen Lewis Foundation. Failing these two, any donation in her name to any community based arts support group would also be welcome.

Wendy Martindale

August 1, 1952 - July 7, 2010

Update, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Wendy was moved into Palliative care this morning. A much better place for her with more attentive care. She had several Grand Mal seizures this morning, but medication has stopped them. She remains unresponsive, but we talk to her and read poetry.

Local friends can visit her at the Saint John Regional Hospital, 3B North 62.

Harvey

Update, Monday July 6, 2010

Wendy was unresponsive to touch and sound this morning. The Palliative care doctor suggested a move from neurological ward to the Palliative care ward. Otherwise, Wendy is breathing well, has good blood pressure, and is in no discomfort.

Harvey

Another setback

Wendy fell out of bed this morning and hit her head. She's in hospital now with some cranial bleeding and is not doing very well. Over the past few weeks she's been geting progressively weaker. She had a CAT scan today and it showed very little change in the metastises in her brain and a recent chest X-ray showed little improvement in the cancer in her lungs.

She is resting comfortably and being looked after by compassionate professionals.

Harvey

Namaste Irwin Barker

Canadian stand-up comedian Erwin Barker died yesterday. Erwin was an early inspiration to me in my cancer journey, thanks to an interview with Shelagh Rogers on CBC Radio in 2008 and a subsequent documentary. (See Blog entry of Feb. 1, 2008)

Irwin had been diagnosed with cancer and was expected to survive for only a short time. He felt strongly that while he had cancer, “… cancer doesn’t have me.” He continued to work as a writer for the Rick Mercer Show and performed in several fundraisers for the Cancer Society. Fully aware of his condition and the likely outcome, he continued to do what he loved to the best of his ability.

He was on the positive side of any prediction and I thank him for his example.

Namaste
Wendy

Retirement

To the extent I get to plan these things, my retirement date is sset for August 1, 2012 which is also my 60th birthday.

A bunch of us baby boomers at the museum took one of those pre-retirement seminars last year and we've been talking about succession planning at work. Jane has agreed on the date; retirement event at the Lily Lake Pavilion, Rockwook Park, Saint John, NB, date to be determined.

In celebration, I had my summer pedicure at Inn on the Cove this week while enjoying the beautiful view of the Bay. This time it's bright pink to go with my pink "Gloria Vanderbilt sandals.

Thanks to Jack Hill, this blog's unofficial photographer.

Cheese and Chocolate

My taste for chocolate and cheese went down over two years ago when chemo treatments first began. With this recent hiatus on chemo treatments my interest and taste for these two foods has returned, which is excellent as we have re-discovered that Costco has a great cheese selection.

Thanks to L. for the Callebault Chocolate from Alberta. (And Yes, I shared.)

Wendy

A Break

I finished the tenth Radiation treatment yesterday (Thursday). It will take ten days to two weeks for the 'biological effects' (the technician's term) to stop. So we have a couple of weeks to relax. No appointments, no doctors or technicians. It almost feels strange not to have to get out of bed and rush off to an appointment. I'll have to be careful in the sun as the treatments sensitize the skin. But this is the summertime along the Bay of Fundy and sunny days are a premium. Later in June we'll be meeting the Dr. B, who will have consulted with the Radiation Oncology Specialist to determine where we go from here.

I'm continuing to work from home and making sure I'm getting afternoon naps.

We're looking forward to guests this weekend and once again feasting on seafood.

Wendy

(Typed by Harvey)

Radiation Underway

I've gotten started with radiation treatments - four of ten planned treatments are finished. Because they are whole brain treatments, a moulded plastic mesh mask was made on my first visit. The radiation therapists slip the mask on over my head each time and use it to line up the beam.

My sister, Joyce, was here for a visit on one of the first WestJet flights into Saint John from Toronto (for now they operate only seasonally). It was also the first time we had great weather when she visited (snow storms and fog have been features of previous visits). It was nice to show her around while everything is so green and we enjoyed lobster and scallops, too. Comet loved the extra attention and the long walks.

Wendy

More lemons, more lemonade

Those side effects I talked about in my previous entry morphed rather suddenly into dizziness and headaches this past week or ten days. A rather dramatic crumple to the floor at work on Thursday, accompanied by losing consciousness briefly, led to a meeting with some paramedics from the ambulance service after concerned staff had phoned 911. When I explained my condition and that I had a scheduled CAT scan, they let me get to the car by wheelchair (they wanted to put me on the gurney). My thanks to the museum staff for their ‘heads up’ actions after my collapse.

Back home, I contacted the Chemo room. They seemed concerned that my CAT scan wasn’t scheduled until Monday and after a flurry of phone calls we got an appointment for Friday morning. Since it was evident that I needed a wheelchair to get around, we corralled our friend Jack to drive us to the Fortress of Healing. For all that we were wedged into the appointment queue for a CAT scan, we were home shortly after lunch. CAT scans only take ten minutes.

Later Friday afternoon Dr. B called with news that the scan showed some spots on the back part of the brain which affects balance. Our hopes that this was just another side effect or an inner ear infection were put aside. She pointed out that this was “another level of seriousness”. They start radiation therapy next week and I’m making arrangements to work from home for now. I’m taking a medication for the dizziness.

Fortunately, most of the house, except for Harvey’s office, is on one floor. We’ve rented a wheelchair that I’m slowly learning to maneuver around the house. I can get from the bedroom to the living room and dining room and my office quite handily. Harvey bought some cordless phones today so I’ll be able to contact him when he’s busy in his office (where the computer is located) or I can wander around with a phone in my hand.

Wendy

Celebrating International Year of Biodiversity

As my unplanned celebration of the above, I’m adjusting to doing many, many things consciously rather than unconsciously due to my numb/tingly fingers and toes, a side effect of this chemo drug. I’m making like a coyote, a species I greatly admire because it is highly adaptable and a trickster figure, and learning to adapt. This could be extremely frustrating but instead, I am trying to view it as an interesting learning opportunity. This works at least some of the time. (“Holy cow! That’s interesting.” is becoming a new mantra.)

Changes include:

• Numb toes, resulting in poor balance. This is a scary one, because if I fell I could damage vertebrae in my neck which are weak because of bone reduction due to radiation treatments. Because of the balance issue I have to really focus on walking when I’m walking; not being distracted by the shop window displays or the lady in the pretty red jacket, not thinking I can pull something out of my bag or have my hands in my pockets. (Harvey frequently reminds me to walk with my hands and my arms swinging.) I’m also thinking of using a walking stick for support. This will be another new skill I’ll need to develop. Of course, I have the walking sticks my father Herb made out of attractive pieces of wood, as well as an antique hackberry stick my friend John salvaged.
• Numb/tingly fingers effect everything I do with my hands, which is a lot. (Think about this for even a short period of time during your day and I suspect you will also be amazed). Keyboarding (we used to call it typing.) of course, and I’m learning the skill of two rather than ten fingered typing. Voice recognition software would be an option if this was permanent, but it should (knock on wood) go away when I’m no longer receiving this chemo drug. I’ve discovered that sometimes emails are better answered by telephone and you have conversations with people too, which is wonderful. Doing things at work in chunks – we know that switching tasks frequently is not a good thing. It also works better for my fingers if I spend time doing emails, then make some phone calls, then working on the keyboard to draft documents.
• Finding the balance between allowing people to help and remaining independent, often without knowing until experience teaches me where this line lies. People don’t mind helping, whether it’s taking a staple out of some papers I need to photocopy or a clerk waiting patiently for me to extract change from my wallet. A little humour and saying ‘thank you’ are also important.
• I learned to wet my fingers to separate the pages of the newspaper. I’ve mostly given up carrying breakable things or I use two hands. Harvey even carries my morning coffee into my office for me. The original owner of this house had many handgrips put into the tub and shower and I’m using them.
  
  I can already see that some of the adaptations work better than my old habits, and thus can be adopted permanently.
  
  In the spirit of the coyote.
  
  Wendy

Numb Fingers and Toes

The side effects of the Taxol have gotten worst after each of the last two weekly treatments. The numbness in my feet is affecting my balance and my fingers are quite un-dextrous. I've reached a point where I'm not sure if I'm gripping something hard or not hard enough. I could easily drop and break something. I have trouble picking things up, dealing with buttons, taking the lids off things, plus they are rather painful.

Thanks to an email from Pat in which he said he feels like he types with his elbows, I realized that one accommodation I could make at the keyboard is to use two fingers. I learned to touch type in High School - in the days when as a female you didn't reveal this skill unless you wanted to work as a secretary - so now I'm retraining my not very nimble fingers. Hunting and pecking is slow, but I make fewer mistakes.

After my every four weeks appointment with Dr. B. today, the decision was to reduce the Taxol dosage in hopes that will make these side effects more manageable.

Awkwardly
Wendy

(typos are all Harvey's)

Deer Tricks

We imagine the Rockwood Park deer will collect the $3 in change along the Park trails and recruit a friendly human to attend on their behalf. They'll be prepared for any new tricks before other attendees even have a chance to try them.

Deer - 1
Humans - 0

Harvey has suggested that a few recipes for various venison dishes might slow them down for a while.

Wendy

Fusion or Con-Fusion

Eight of us went back to St. Andrew’s this week to sample a student inspired meal at the College. With students from Canada, Mexico, and Chile the menu promised tastes from these three cuisines. I was hoping that some of the Chinese students would bring their tastes to the evening but that was not to happen.

I am usually energized by the enthusiasm of the students at the Lady Dunn venue but that seemed missing Thursday night. There was no spark, few smiles, and a lack of understanding of our dining culture.

Empanadas

Meat filled pastries are a staple of many cultures and empanadas are found throughout Central and South America. My disappointment with these was not in the pastry but in the presentation. Suddenly two plates of empanadas appeared, each containing four pastries with neither a side plate nor serving utensil. I realize these are meant to be eaten from the hand, but the phyllo was soggy and hot enough to make it difficult to handle. Tasty, but difficult to eat.

North and South Breads

Bread baskets and plates of dip appeared without side plates, which we had to request. The flatbreads were dry and the dried tortillas were indescribable. The hummus was dull and lifeless. (Hummus is made with lemon juice, garlic, and red pepper flakes!) The corn-Guajillo dip tasted more like a squash puree with none of the sweet spicy heat expected.

Beta Beta Beta Soup.

This roasted red pepper soup was a delight to my eyes and from the first spoonful, made me smile. It was a perfect balance of spice, heat, and roasted red peppers with a delightful crunch from the pepitos. Full marks.

Pescados

Billed as a hot and cold fish dish, it lived up to its name. Poached sole was placed over a small mound of quinoa in one corner of a square plate and in the opposite corner was a piece of halibut ceviche. Joining the two corners was a trail of wonderfully spicy salsa. Full marks for taste, creativity and presentation.

Silvestre Sorbet

A very pleasant palate refreshing sorbet based on Margarita flavours. Crystalline sugar sprinkled over the top added a nice touch and mimicked the salty rim of a margarita.

Tortiere-Carnitas

The strangest of the evening’s dishes was this combination. The tortiere was a mound of ground beef, pork and veal that was strangely dry and tasteless. Deconstructing tortiere should have included the gravy made by the meat juices, potatoes, onions, thyme and savory and other spices, and don’t forget pastry. Tortiere is a pie. Fusion could have added some heat or spiciness.

The Carnitas was a pork puree wrapped in a tortilla. It had a very strange mouth feel for a meat dish – more like a pate than the pulled, braised pork shoulder which is common. Again there seemed little flavour in the concoction and no condiments to make up for that lack.

Neither meat dish was hot.

The lack of vegetables was a strange touch. Potatoes and corn are endemic to South America and would have balanced the meal somewhat.

Maple Poached Pear and Leche Nevada

A pleasantly refreshing dessert of poached pear, Maple Ice Cream, and “Snowy Milk” nicely presented.

Dulce Trio

We finished with Candied Orange Peel, a candy made from beans, and Empolvado candy - interesting sweet treats that were new to us and a nice finish to the meal.

I don’t want to seem overly critical about the meal, but students are there to learn and the best learning comes through real experience. Sometimes that means falling flat on your face. It’s one thing to cook a meal for friends and a completely different experience to cook in a restaurant. I know the pressure is tremendous, but the rewards are exhilarating. I’ve enjoyed the experiences we’ve had at the Lady Dunn Dining Room over the past two years. I won’t let this dampen my enthusiasm for the wonderful meals we’ve had there and the fun we’ve had meeting the students and teachers. Don’t give up experimenting and don’t quit just because someone critiques your efforts. And, for goodness sakes, don't lose the enthusiasm.

Harvey